Sterling Law Office

A remarkable new area of legal practice called collaborative divorce is revolutionizing and greatly improving the way divorce takes place in this country. A development of the last few years, collaborative divorce reduces the cost, length, and devastation of a marital dissolution. It is a method of alternative dispute resolution which addresses not just the family’s legal requirements, as in traditional divorce, but encompasses their legal, emotional, childrearing, and financial needs. It also produces a greater chance of reconciliation instead of separation for the couple.

The defining elements of collaborative divorce include:

*It is initiated with an agreement between the parties that commits them to full disclosure of all necessary financial and other information; to respectful, cooperative interactions with a problem-solving focus; to settling out of court without going to trial; and to achieving a result that fits the needs of all individual members of the family, and keeps the well-being of children paramount. A primary goal is to preserve and strengthen children’s relationships with both parents.

*The couple, instead of the Friend of the Court or the judge, work out what their parental responsibilities and schedules, and division of property will be. This allows the couple to keep control of their own destiny. When a divorce is litigated at trial, the couple have no control over what the outcome will be for each, nor for their children.

*In addition to a collaborative law attorney for each spouse, the husband and wife are supported by a team of professionals trained to help them put together the agreements needed for division of assets; for a plan to act as a parenting team and keep the family working together into the future, recognizing that while the marriage may end, if there are children then the family continues and needs to thrive; and to deal with the anger, fear, and other emotions which can, when untreated, turn the divorce process into a bloody battleground. The professionals include a neutral financial consultant; counselors and “coaches” to support creative, productive, effective solutions to issues and emotional hazards; and child therapists and advocates, as needed.

*Even with the added professional consultants, the costs of collaborative divorce run much lower than an adversarial case. Thousands of dollars are saved by eliminating formal discovery procedures, deposition-taking, the filing of motions, and a court trial. This preserves family assets for the resolution of marital debts, and for support and education of children.

*All discussions and interactions to move the divorce settlement forward, or to resolve any problems that arise, are conducted only at scheduled meetings in the presence of both clients and both attorneys. This reduces attorney fees by cutting out time-devouring back and forth between each individual and their attorney, then that attorney to the opposing attorney, to the second client and so forth, whenever an issue occurs. It manages disagreements in a direct, efficient manner, which obviates the common divorce sand trap of “he said/she said.”

Divorce can generate many destructive and volatile emotions, and can be especially damaging to children. Having attorneys, mental health counselors, and coaches working as a team with a couple to handle emotions constructively and not let them derail the dignified negotiation of differences offers a tremendous boon. As well, it can deliver an experience of marital dissolution which will have much less lasting, crippling effects on children. Sterling Law Office family law attorneys are committed to working with divorce clients to explore and implement such innovative, superior means of settling family conflicts.

For further reading on collaborative divorce, try www.divorceconnections.com, an educational law site sponsored by a group of Traverse City, Michigan area professionals, or www.collaborativeattorney.com, where a California law firm has posted articles on the topic from a wide spectrum of sources.
Posted by Mary Wreford; Approved by Lea Ann Sterling, Esq., November 2, 2007

The information presented in this article is for general information only and should not be construed to be legal advice.

When it looks like a divorce action may be approaching your marriage, being proactive and taking preparatory steps can significantly reduce the overall financial and emotional cost. To get ready before divorce proceedings begin, what follows is a practical guide to organizing your personal business and life in order to make such proceedings go more smoothly.

1) Outline the family financial situation: make a list of what you own, a list of what you owe, what the family income is and from whence it comes, and the family’s monthly bills/living expenses. Specify who is the named owner or owners on each asset and for each debt (home, cars, credit cards, etc.).

2) Make copies of statements for all accounts your family has, such as bank account, stocks or other investments, pension funds, life insurance and so forth, as well as for income tax returns and any other family financial records.

3) Do an inventory and list all the personal property or assets which belong to you and/or which you would wish to keep if a division of family property occurs.

4) Keep. It. Friendly. If you can keep relations with your partner civil and amicable through the split-up, everyone will win at least a little. Vindictiveness is a poison that will hurt everyone, especially children.

5) Before your first meeting with an attorney, write down all the questions and problems about which you want to ask. As when you go to the doctor, a written list will help you remember important topics during what could be an upsetting discussion. It will help focus the meeting so it takes less time, which saves fees, and it will give the attorney a written document of your priorities that can be kept in your file for future reference. Bring your financial records to your initial meeting for the same reasons – it’s much less expensive for the attorney to get information from you than from financial institutions or from your partner’s attorney.

6) The more negotiating and agreement you work through on your own with your partner, before the divorce proceedings are initiated, the less negotiating your attorney will have to do on your behalf, and again, the more money you will save in fees. When agreement can’t be reached, clearly your attorney will need to step in, but you may be able to resolve some day-to-day matters, for example who pays for car insurance or school fees, or how household goods and furnishings will be divided.

7) Don’t make big-ticket purchases or take on new debt. These items will make your finances harder to sort out if the time comes to divide things, and they could add to the debt load you have to assume at a point when your spending money is decreasing.

8) Make the most educated estimation possible of what it will cost you to live after the divorce, so you know what goals you want to meet in the financial negotiations and the divorce settlement.

9) If you don’t have any credit in your own name, you will need it when you are single again. Start getting a good credit rating by taking out a credit card, department store card or gas card. Use it only to the extent you can pay off in full every month.

This general guide to putting your house in order before a possible divorce will not apply to every situation, nor be right for everyone, but it will help make a good start. Your attorney can assess what actions are best for you to take, and the more organized information you give the attorney, the better that assessment will be.

A lot of informational material on divorce is available on the Internet. Two commercial sites which offer free on-site articles on a plethora of divorce topics are www.divorcemagazine.com and www.womansdivorce.com The .com in a website name means the site is operated as a business, and will be offering products for sale, and as mentioned above, always check with an attorney before taking advice on legal matters. www.grandparentsrights.org is a not-for-profit Oakland County, Michigan organization with information for parents, as well as grandparents, on its site, and for one of my favorite family law office blogs, which is astute and educational, go to www.alabamafamilylawblog.com
Posted by Mary Wreford; Approved by Lea Ann Sterling, August 2, 2007

The information presented in this article is for general information only and should not be construed to be legal advice.